As we outlined in the previous article in this series, Self Awareness is the foundational element of Emotional Intelligence. It starts with tuning into your internal dialogue, particularly during emotionally charged situations. Your self-talk has a remarkable ability to influence and regulate your emotional state.
Recall a time when you had to give a presentation, whether in a classroom or a professional setting. You might have experienced thoughts like, “I always make mistakes in front of others,” or “What if I forget what to say? Everyone will think I’m a failure.”
These are examples of negative self-talk. The more you focus on such thoughts, the more you intensify the corresponding negative emotions, like anxiety or worry.
Conversely, positive self-talk might sound like, “I’ve prepared thoroughly; I know my material. I’m going to rock this!” Focusing on positive self-talk can amplify feelings of confidence and optimism.
Expanding our Emotional Vocabulary
What does it mean to “expand our emotional vocabulary”? It’s about developing a broader range of words to describe the various emotions we experience daily. By doing so, we can gain a clearer understanding of our feelings and respond more effectively.
This colorful looking diagram is called Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions. It is a framework created by American psychologist Robert Plutchik that offers a visual representation of emotions. This tool helps clarify emotions that can often seem confusing and overwhelming.
Emotions intensify as you move from the outer edge of the wheel towards the center. This is also indicated by color: darker shades represent more intense emotions. For instance, annoyance is a milder form of anger, while rage is its most intense level.
Without a nuanced understanding of emotions, we might mistakenly identify a mild annoyance as anger simply because we lack the vocabulary to differentiate between them. If we don’t give ourselves space to acknowledge and understand our emotions, we can unintentionally escalate a situation without realizing it.
There’s a crucial rule to remember about emotions, both within ourselves and in our relationships…
If left unchecked, emotions can (and likely will) intensify.
It’s important to note that emotional cues are not just verbal. Other cues to pay attention to include:
- voice tone
- pitch
- posture
- eye contact
- facial expression
- verbal cues
- overall body language
It is necessary to deploy empathy to pick up on emotional cues. We’ll get into more detail about this in our next article.
Creating space between our emotions and our actions is key to Self Management. An effective tool to help create this space is Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help you create distance between your emotions and your actions, enhancing your overall awareness of how you’re feeling.
Practicing this skill fosters Self Awareness and enables you to act with intention. There are numerous ways to practice mindfulness, including:
Up next, we’ll dive into how Social Awareness and Relationship Management Begins with Empathy. We’ll explore how to pick up on emotional cues and leverage tactical empathy for effective interactions. Stay tuned!
If you’ve missed the previous installments in this series, check out “Emotional Intelligence: The Key to High-Performing Cannabis Teams”
The source material for this article comes from our 2-Day Master Class on Team Building. If you’re interested in bringing this dynamic training to your organization (virtually or in person), let’s talk!